Surrendered to God~ A Mothers Way of the Cross

Living in the present moment abandoned to God’s will has been my way of of life for the past 6 years.
6 years ago I heard the words I thought I would never hear: you have stomach cancer.
The doctor went on to say that stomach cancer is rare, after lung cancer, stomach cancer is the 2nd leading cause of death among cancer.

Fear,shock and disbelief instantly invaded my life. That was the day my life was forever changed, I had to face my possible death. As a mother of seven children all I could think about was who would take care of them.home school, and nurture them, how was I going to tell them I have cancer.
“It is most laudable in a married women to be devout, but she must never forget that she is a housewife; and sometimes she must leave God at the altar to find Him in her housekeeping.” – Francis of Rome

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Did I fulfill God’s will in my vocation as a mother? Did my life reflect  the love I had for Jesus and Mary  and the gift our Catholic Faith is. Would they remember all that I taught them and so seek the truth in all things. This pain was too much to bear, my biggest fear had become a reality.
Within the week I underwent I high risk surgery.Everything went so quickly leaving me numb. Now I see that this was God’s way of protecting me shielding me from the gravity of  what was happening to me.

Surgery lasted 6 hours in which 80% of my stomach was removed along with lymph nodes. The surgeon had to stop surgery because a large tumor was found on my liver and it had to be removed and biopsied. It was benign, how good God is.  I was in intensive care for 3 days. The pain was unbearable due to the surgery and the fact I am allergic to most pain meds. The only prayer I could utter  was Jesus I Trust in You and to love Him with a love that was willing to go to the cross.
Placing my life and family in His hands I said yes, yes to the life he had planned for me, yes to Redemptive suffering, to love with a love that is willing to go to the cross and so die to self.

As I left the hospital with the knowledge  that the cancer I had would require a vigilance on my part to be aware of any unusual symptoms and to notify my oncologist.  I will never really be what people call cancer free. When I asked my oncologist if I would be cancer free after 5 years his response was, maybe in 10 years. What they didn’t tell me was they didn’t think I would live past  a year.  Now I know why, I am deficient in most vitamins, I have malabsortion issues, (faulty absorption of nutrient materials from the digestive tract) a continual malaise that is worsening, anemia, my asthma has worsened to the point that I need oxygen.  My stomach is broken,  More days than not I suffer from  emesis  which limits my ability to go anywhere.

 Lord I am the servant of thy servant and I will always say with Mary be it done to me according to thy word.  Mother of all mothers that suffer pray for us.

The past 6 years  faith has carried me, love has sustained me as I had to undergo many ER visits, countless tests and procedures, Dr appt’s too many to count, hospitalizations I so wanted to avoid.
My life belongs to Jesus as I walk the way of the cross knowing I will die on that cross. Joy!

O my God teach me to be generous; to give and not count the cost; to fight and not to heed the wounds; to toil and not to seek for rest; to labor and not to seek for any reward save that of doing your blessed will. -Saint Ignatius of Loyola

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The cross is love, my love crucified with the Love that flows from the Sacred Heart of Jesus, as I receive grace upon grace.  Thank you Jesus for the gift of life, may I never take it for granted but to embrace each day with joy.

 

“Love is more important than suffering: it gives suffering it’s meaning and makes it acceptable. There can be love without suffering. But suffering without love has no meaning; with love accepted as Christ accepted it, as the saints accept it, it acquires an inestimable value.” –  Saint John Paul I

I pray for all those that suffer know that your life is precious and a gift from God a life to be embraced. You are never alone Love will never leave your side, God is with always. As I share my cancer journey with you it is my hope that it will aid you in some way as journey with Christ.  I ask for your patience as you read this, my eyesight is so poor due to my health.  May God bring you peace and love.

 

Front Row with Pope Francis

   Unity among Christians is a  gift from God. Christians must pray for it.
Pope Francis begins His weekly audience with a call to Unity among all Christians. He states: ” We affirm that the Church is one and she is holy. Holy since she is founded by Jesus Christ, enlivened by his Holy Spirit, and filled with His love and salvation.
While we, the members of the Church are sinners, the unity and holiness of the Church arise from God and call us to daily conversion.”  All Christians are children of God and united to God we are all part of One family. As Christians we are not isolated, but are members of a unique Body the Mystical Body of Christ. “So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of of another.” This is Christ’s priestly prayer, that all may be one.

Pope Francis goes on to say: “Unfortunately, we know well the sins against unity-jealousy-envy-antipathy- which come about when we place ourselves at the center and which occur even in our parish communities.” What then we ask ourselves is needed to stop this anger and envy all the war we see in the world and in families and yes so very sadly in the church our Holy Mother on earth, Oh how Jesus weeps. What can we do? Jesus tells us in the Gospel of John, “A new commandment I give to you that you love another: even as I have loved you, that you also love another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”( John 13: 34-35.)( CCC.1822-29.) How did Jesus show His love. Look at the Cross. He gave His life for us. On the cross as he hung in pain he cried out to His Father, “Father forgive them they know not what they do.” And with His Blessed Mother standing beneath the cross she looked to her son as he was dying and she silently gave her “Fiat” again. In this is love and unity. We must die to self in order to love our neighbors with the Heart of Christ. The church has been compared to Christ’s tunic which was without seam, woven from top to bottom,( John 19:23.)  ” The Church  should not be divided because it also is without seams.” St. Augustine.”

We must all pray for unity for the whole church. That with obedience and promptness we obey our Holy Father Pope Francis and all the bishops in communion with him. If we do this we may fall, but we our on the right path. We may suffer, but we will suffer in union with one another, we may feel the pain of poverty but, as Christians we give without counting the cost.We May not always like or agree with the teachings of the church, but we all pray in one voice: ” Open our eyes Lord to see the truth. Open our hearts Lord so we can hear your silent whisper that says; ” Take up your cross and follow me.” Give to me the courage and the gifts of the Holy Spirit to defend in all places Your truth. To live according to your Holy will, whatever it may take from me.  To stand for the sanctity and dignity of all human life created in your Image and likeness. Help us respond to your call to pray without ceasing for all those persecuted for their faith throughout the world. To refrain from gossip and speech that wounds another, in this Jesus we remain united with our Holy Mother the Catholic Church and she will lead us home.

” Bear ye one another’s burdens and so fulfill the will of Christ.”( Galatians 6:2) ( CCC 1965-70)

Let us call upon our Blessed Mother, the Mother of Unity. ” You who are the first handmaid of the unity of Christ’s Body,
help us, help all the faithful who feel so keenly the tragedy of historical divisions of Christianity, to seek persistently the path to the perfect unity of the Body of Christ through unreserved fidelity to the Spirit of truth and love. Pope Saint John Paull II.

Let us all stand with Mary our Mother at the foot of the cross and say in unison “Thy will be done Lord, not mine.”