Faith, Prayer, Saint of the Month, Saints, Suffering

Blessed by the Cross

These are, the ones who have survived the time of great distress, they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the lamb (Rv 7:14)

St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross is a model for women and what God asks of each of us. She relentlessly searched for the truth and found it in The Catholic Church where she became a Carmelite nun after St Teresa of Avila. Being Jewish this decision to become a Catholic nun was not an easy one for she knew this would hurt her mother whom she loved so dearly. However, Edith Stein followed her Beloved to the cross, and as a daughter of Israel, she tasted the sweetness of the cross as she gave her life in the extermination camp at Auschwitz. Edith Stein embraced the cross and found strength in bearing the cross of Jesus Crucified. She found God in the prayer of silence, and He drew her close to Him, and she rested in His love. She entered the Dark Night, where Faith was her guide; hope sustained her and love led her to the cross. The Crucified Christ was her life, her joy, her peace. It must be ours also as mothers our vocation is to lead our children to heaven. To accomplish this, we need to search for God in the silence of the heart. In this silence, He will speak to our souls. We cannot spend all day in prayer, but our very lives are a form of prayer to God an active prayer that humbles us making us more obedient to God’s will. As we travel the path of Holy Motherhood, we must be led by God as St. Teresa Benedicta. We must be courageous and embrace the Cross Of Holy Motherhood aiding one another on this Journey. We must reclaim the Dignity of Motherhood imitating the life of the Blessed Mother. The world needs the courageous love that Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross modeled for us. We are made for heaven, and our lives should glorify God, not the world.

“A Scienta Crucis(knowledge of the cross) can be gained only when one comes to feel the cross radically.”
This quote from St Teresa Benedicta is my favorite.  On Sunday, August 2, 1942, she was seized by the Gestapo along with her sister Rosa. She left the convent the last words she uttered were” Come let us go for our people.”

Ave, Crux, spes, unica!
Hail Cross our only hope
(Self-PortraitEdith_Stein_(ca._1938-1939))

 

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Faith, Mom's with cancer, Suffering

True Rejoicing

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Philippians 4:5
My body is broken from my battle with cancer.  I battle numerous infections, decreased mobility, sleepless nights. I am on oxygen as my lungs are weak. There are days when I have no strength to move and must resign myself to the bed. I am unable to do anything and I ask myself how can I give all to the Lord when I have so little to give. I recall the words of Jesus to St. Faustina and I entrust myself completely to His will by praying”Not as I want , but according to your will, O God let it be done unto me.”  It is in this moment of brokenness that I can give the Lord all. And this fills my soul with joy. My broken body and aching heart rejoices in the Lord. This is my gift to the infant Jesus. There are times in our lives when all we can give to Jesus are the broken pieces of our lives and it is in these moments of surrender that we can exclaim with St Paul: I can do all things in Him who strengthens me.
Dear Infant Jesus I come before your manager in Bethlehem help us to remember that real worth is not so much found in activity but in the silent surrender of our will to yours. We pray for the gift of perseverance to endure all things for the glory of your name. Jesus, Mary and Joseph make our homes another Nazareth where peace and love reign. Blessed Mother be a Mother to our children when  illness prevents me. Wrap them in the Mantle of your love. Help us to always remember the great dignity we have as mothers and illness can never take that away.
Ponder in your heart how much you are loved and the life you live is one of joy to God. Do Not be Afraid. let go of all anxiety and Trust in the Infant Jesus to heal you.
Let your prayer be one of peace. Listen to some Advent or Christmas songs and sit in silence before the Christmas tree and manger, hold the infant Jesus next to your heart and let love do as love wants.

“We are able to go through the most terrible places fearlessly, because Jesus in us will never deceive us; Jesus in us is our love, our strength, our joy and our compassion”
Saint Teresa of Calcutta

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Tami Schuelke


You are never alone god is always with you. Live in peace

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Faith, Mom's with cancer, Suffering

Surrendered to God~ A Mothers Way of the Cross

Living in the present moment abandoned to ‘s will has been my way of of life for the past 6 years.
6 years ago I heard the words I thought I would never hear: you have stomach .
The doctor went on to say that stomach cancer is rare, after lung cancer, stomach cancer is the 2nd leading cause of death among cancer.

Fear,shock and disbelief instantly invaded my life. That was the day my life was forever changed, I had to face my possible death. As a of seven children all I could think about was who would take care of them.home school, and nurture them, how was I going to tell them I have cancer.
“It is most laudable in a married women to be devout, but she must never forget that she is a housewife; and sometimes she must leave God at the altar to find Him in her housekeeping.” – Francis of Rome

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Did I fulfill God’s will in my vocation as a mother? Did my life reflect  the I had for and Mary  and the gift our Catholic is. Would they remember all that I taught them and so seek the truth in all things. This pain was too much to bear, my biggest fear had become a reality.
Within the week I underwent I high risk surgery.Everything went so quickly leaving me numb. Now I see that this was God’s way of protecting me shielding me from the gravity of  what was happening to me.

Surgery lasted 6 hours in which 80% of my stomach was removed along with lymph nodes. The surgeon had to stop surgery because a large tumor was found on my liver and it had to be removed and biopsied. It was benign, how good God is.  I was in intensive care for 3 days. The pain was unbearable due to the surgery and the fact I am allergic to most pain meds. The only prayer I could utter  was Jesus I in You and to love Him with a love that was willing to go to the cross.
Placing my life and in His hands I said yes, yes to the life he had planned for me, yes to Redemptive suffering, to love with a love that is willing to go to the cross and so die to self.

As I left the hospital with the knowledge  that the cancer I had would require a vigilance on my part to be aware of any unusual symptoms and to notify my oncologist.  I will never really be what people call cancer free. When I asked my oncologist if I would be cancer free after 5 years his response was, maybe in 10 years. What they didn’t tell me was they didn’t think I would live past  a year.  Now I know why, I am deficient in most vitamins, I have malabsortion issues, (faulty absorption of nutrient materials from the digestive tract) a continual malaise that is worsening, anemia, my asthma has worsened to the point that I need oxygen.  My stomach is broken,  More days than not I suffer from  emesis  which limits my ability to go anywhere.

 Lord I am the servant of thy servant and I will always say with Mary be it done to me according to thy word.  Mother of all mothers that suffer pray for us.

The past 6 years  faith has carried me, love has sustained me as I had to undergo many ER visits, countless tests and procedures, Dr appt’s too many to count, hospitalizations I so wanted to avoid.
My life belongs to Jesus as I walk the way of the cross knowing I will die on that cross. Joy!

O my God teach me to be generous; to give and not count the cost; to fight and not to heed the wounds; to toil and not to seek for rest; to labor and not to seek for any reward save that of doing your blessed will. -Saint Ignatius of Loyola

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The cross is love, my love crucified with the Love that flows from the Sacred Heart of Jesus, as I receive grace upon grace.  Thank you Jesus for the gift of life, may I never take it for granted but to embrace each day with joy.

“Love is more important than suffering: it gives suffering it’s meaning and makes it acceptable. There can be love without suffering. But suffering without love has no meaning; with love accepted as Christ accepted it, as the saints accept it, it acquires an inestimable value.” –  Saint John Paul I

I pray for all those that suffer know that your life is precious and a gift from God a life to be embraced. You are never alone Love will never leave your side, God is with always. As I share my cancer journey with you it is my hope that it will aid you in some way as journey with Christ.  I ask for your patience as you read this, my eyesight is so poor due to my health.  May God bring you peace and love.

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Faith, Mom's with cancer, Suffering

The Cross Is Love

Dear Jesus I place myself at the foot of the cross,  standing with your mother who is now my mother for in your suffering you gave her to us.   Oh what love you bestowed upon us in giving us your mother.  Thank you Jesus, you know how I weak I am, so at baptism She became the Mother of my life never to leave my side.
I compassionate you in your suffering my Jesus, oh how I wish I could do more,  give you more.  How I long to share in your bitter sorrow,  and yet you speak silently in my soul saying  ” Your desire means more to me than the action.”  Jesus you are so merciful I do not deserve the gift you have called me to accept.  The gift of sharing your cross and yet you placed the cross ever so gently upon my shoulders.  I remember that day in February 5 yrs ago, it was lent and I heard your voice calling me to follow you.

Dear Jesus how I trembled in fear when I heard the word cancer.  I said in my anxiety:  Why Lord why this, you know this mother’s heart and I cannot bear the thought of leaving my children. They are so young,  they need me,  who will take care of them? this cancer is rare and my chances of surviving are not good.”   At that moment your passion and death became food for my soul,  my prayer, my meditation . It was on the cross where you showed me where true love is to be found,  in the emptying of myself of all that was not of God,  of dying to self,  of seeing myself for who I really am,  of receiving your grace and realizing I cannot do anything without you.  You called me to trust in you.  Oh the graces you bestow on all your children who open their hearts and souls to your merciful grace.  It consumes all fear and unites our souls forever in love.  I finally came to understand that you are not distant from us when we suffer,  you are with us in our suffering.  You shed tears with us,  you hold us close to your Sacred Heart when everything seems lost,  you enter into our pain giving weak souls courage to go on.  You show us that battle is not lost when we fatigue overwhelms us.  Your love becomes a consuming fire .A fire that consumes our sins, makes our souls long for you,  a desire to know you more, to love you to the point of death.  How good you are Jesus!   You first took upon yourself all the sufferings that mankind would have to endure and more so that we would never be alone in our sufferings.  We can now say Jesus knows,  Jesus is with me,  I will never be alone.  Jesus is within me.  Your love did not stop there.  You wanted to give us more, so you give yourself to us daily in the Holy Eucharist,  You remain in every tabernacle in every church until the end of time waiting for us to come to you where you ease all pain and wipe away all tears.  Where would we be without the Sacraments of the Church?  I know I could not go on, my soul would die.  We would not know love.  Without the gift of your mother, how could I ever be a mother.
You have given me more than I could ever hope to ask for.  I know now Jesus, that all that really matters is Love.  Only Love makes one able to say “yes’  to the cross.  Love picks us up after every fall. Love nails us to the cross.   Love is all, it is everything.  The Cross and Love are inseparable.  I would not change the course of my life for anything. I have touched love and there is no greater joy!Jesus meets Mary (550x307) (2) (550x307)

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Mom-ism Monday

“Mom-ism Monday # 3!

Here are my “Mom-ism” moments from the week. Thank you Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle for hosting this linkup for mothers

  1. My house is a center of constant activity and I love every minute of it. I just wish I had more energy to keep up with the children.  The girls worked in our Mary Garden, planting and pulling weeds. Every summer we try to add a different flower to our Mary Garden. I love to work in the garden but my health tends to limit what I can do. So my daughters do what I cant.  As a family we pray the rosary in our Mary Garden and I love to sit on the bench and watch the children as they play and I pray.
  2. Five of my children are in the Legion of Mary for youth. Lexi, my 16 yr old started the First Praesidium for youth in this diocese. Last Friday they attended the Annual meeting of all the members throughout the Diocese. Lexi had to give a presentation on what their praesidium is responsible for. They pray for priests and pick one each week to pray for and they say a daily rosary for them and send a note of thanksgiving for all they do. They also pass out Miraculous Medals after Mass and distribute them as part of their ministry.
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     Today we spent preparing for the 4th of July. The entire family and many friends come to our house for the day. The children put on a parade, there is swimming and games and alot of food. We also have pony rides for the little ones. Emily and Lexi groomed the pony’s and put ribbons on them for tomorrow. On Sunday my two youngest boys will be serving at Queen of Peace parish. Anthony who just made his first communion asked Joshua to practice with him. Joshua loves serving and has always wanted to be a priest. When he was little he would kiss the statue we have of Our Lady of Fatima before bed and say: “Good night Momma Mary I love you.” He is the youngest member in the legion of Mary. Joshua helped his younger brother by dressing as a priest.10494345_333612593456969_373010171_o890500_MomismLogo and made our living room into a altar.
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